Sehr lesenswert sind diese Hinweise, die in den USA auf unzähligen Produktverpackungen enthalten sein müssen. Bin ich froh, dass das bei uns nicht so sein muss – ich würde denken, die Firmen würden mich für bescheuert halten…
On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestions: Defrost.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boots Childrens Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsburys peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a childs Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a toboggan: Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp.
On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
On a take away coffee cup: Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets.
On the back of a pilots seat in a Nato aircraft: Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
On the bottom of a cola bottle: Do not open here.
On a Harry Potter wizards broom: This broom does not actually fly.
On a box of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a bottle of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the ON/OFF button to the ON position.
On a ketchup bottle: Instructions: Put on food.
On a bottle of rum: Open bottle before drinking.
A car park sign: Entrance only. Do not enter.
A sign in a street in Hong Kong: Beware of people.
Rules on a tram in Prague: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA: Take care: new non-slip surface.
On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only.
On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children.
On a pair of socks bought in egypt: Do not wash.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes.
On a Frisbee: Warning: may contain small parts.
In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.
On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
Directions for mosquito repellant: Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.
On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
In a lift in a Japanese hotel: Push this button in case anything happens.
On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair.
On a washing machine inn a launderette: No small children.
On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster: Do not use underwater.
On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.

Lautes Geschreie, drängelnde Menschen, Hektik und ständig ein- und wieder ausfahrende Züge: Das ist die Münchener U-Bahn. Vergleichbar mit einem Ameisenhaufen, nebenbei bemerkt, aber einem sehr modernen Ameisenhaufen. Menschen mit modernen Hightech-Geräten – wohl ein Monatseinkommen von über 5.000 EUR, aber auch Menschen in extremer Armut, die jeden Cent einzeln umdrehen müssen, wenn sie dann mal einen haben – beide Gruppen in trauter Zweisamkeit; wartend auf die richtige U-Bahn. Und doch ist alles anonym. Jeder hat seinen eigenen Bekanntenkreis, seine eigene Familie (oder auch nicht) und jeder hat für sich selbst zu sorgen. Hier gibt es keinen Platz für Mitleid, Hilfsbereitschaft oder gar Verständnis.